child development
DAD, WHY IS THE WORLD?
19/04/16 11:23
This Saturday’s ice skating class was nothing to write home about. He skated. He fell. He rested. He scuttled on his hands and knees to the exit when the buzzer sounded.
Still, he was very excited about how well he skated. Were we at the same lesson? What? As I unlaced his skates and tugged them off his feet he asked me something quite profound. “Dad, why is the world? And why are we in it? And then a pause and then added the cherry on top, “And why is it spinning?”
“Conor, those are amazing questions. And you know what, nobody really knows the answers.” “Not even you, Dad?” And in that moment, I realized just how tall my son must think I am.
I laughed, “Nope, not even me, buddy. Now let’s go see how Mom’s doing.” And he ran out the locker room door to find mom. I gathered up his equipment and wondered who my boy will be when he grows up.
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MOM GOES TO IRELAND AND CONOR STARTS DRAWING HIS THOUGHTS
20/01/16 10:29
Mom headed to Ireland for her father's 80th birthday yesterday. And Conor has been working out his emotions by drawing pictures. I love it. Last night, we sat in our living room and looked out the front window to watch mom's plane fly by. We live on the ocean and the planes march by our little peninsula every 90 seconds. It's easy to see their logos on their tails and we saw mom fly by like clock work! We waved and hollered and then Conor drew this picture. Hopefully, her plane will keep ascending and won't point its nose down until time to land. But hey, he's barely 4 years old so we'll cut him some slack.
CONOR'S EATING SOMEONE ELSE'S LUNCH
05/03/15 23:44
Just got back from parent/teacher meeting at Conor's school. Among other things, his teacher wanted to talk about Conor's diet. Evidently, Conor isn't satisfied with his own lunch. Yesterday, he sat down with another boy to eat. Conor didn't like what he had because when the other boy went to take a bite out of his bagel, Conor jumped up and took a bite out of the opposite end of the bagel. Busted!
CONOR IS READY FOR HOOPS
15/04/14 21:40
At the beginning of the year, we joined the YMCA as a family. We started swimming lessons and soccer lessons. And this is where Conor was introduced to basketball as he'd walk to soccer class. He seemed especially connected to this so we stopped in the other day (during a birthday party at the Y) and he got to watch and even shoot a few baskets. I'm making a note to myself to get him a basketball hoop for the backyard as summer approaches.
YIKES, MY BABY'S REGRESSING
12/04/14 22:10
Conor keeps teetering between wanting to be a baby and in the next sentence, “I’m a big boy.” He wants to be held and 5 minutes later he doesn’t even want a hug. He’s not exactly sure what he wants these days.
Here’s an interesting article from my trusty website; babycenter.com entitled, ‘Why Regression Happens.’
"Learning new skills is often "two steps forward, one step back." Regression is common in 2-year-olds partly because there are just so many new skills to juggle. They're also vulnerable to stresses that make them want to go back to familiar territory (diapers instead of that new potty) because it's more comforting. Be patient with little setbacks and remember that they're not permanent.
Well, that's good to know because I thought I may have done something wrong or dropped him on his head. I always like hearing that everybody's in the same boat as me. For better or worse, at least we're all doing well or we're all miserable. I just like the company.
IT'S NOT DEFIANCE, THE TESTING IS HEALTHY
29/12/13 22:43
At 2 years old, Conor is in full swing of testing Valerie and me. Just last night, I told him to stop jumping up the stairs so he wouldn’t accidently fall. He jumped up the next stair and looked back, grinning. I repeated my request and it triggered him to jump up the next step and turn around, grinning. I wondered if I should put him in a timeout for disobeying or pick him up and get him out of the ‘hot’ area.
According to Susanne Ayers Denham, a developmental psychologist, kids aren’t being defiant when they ‘test’ us. She points out that toddlers are trying to grapple with the rules of the family. They’re still trying to figure out if you need to be there to correct them each time and how they can ‘own’ the rule so they follow it even when you’re not there.
When you figure that this ‘testing’ coincides with their increasing need to be independent, it’s hard to read when a child needs to be reprimanded and when a child needs some room to learn and grow. I find this line increasingly blurry and need a constant dose of psychologists to remind me that my amazing son is following human instincts and isn’t just trying to be a pain in the ass on any given day. So thank you, Susanne, for your help today.
THE FARTING DOORSTEP IN IRELAND
25/12/12 13:58
Merry Christmas from Ireland. Although my son doesn't seem to know Christmas from Halloween at this stage of his life. He was more impressed with the door stop behind the door that makes farting sounds than he was of Santa's reindeer making a clamor on the rooftop. Just the same, Merry Christmas.
CONOR'S TRAINING TO BE A TEXAN
26/11/12 14:16
Conor's now 13 months and is just learning to talk. He says a lot of gibberish but not really much more than ma ma and da da. Except the last couple of weeks. He learned 'hat' one day and that word has stuck with him for some reason. He knows 'cat' from when he was in Ireland two weeks ago. He says 'no' and shakes his head until you think it's going to fall off. But this morning, I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and Conor crawled into the dog's crate while the dog was outside. He then looked through the mesh top and said, "Hi Dad!" I could hardly believe my ears. He laughed and crawled back out of the dog crate.
Here he is saying, 'hello' and your guess is as good as mine on the other phrase. Almost sounds like 'How are ya?' But that would be a little too advanced, I think.
ONE OF THOSE AWKWARD FATHER AND SON CHATS
17/10/12 14:36
While my colleagues were at the Boston Hatch Advertising Award Show last night raking in silver and bronze awards for our work with SolidWorks, Emerson Hospital and Small Army identity materials, I was home feeding Conor and discussing the finer points of macaroni and cheese. Congratulations to Small Army on it's treasures last night. And congrats to Conor for eating three tiny bites of mac and cheese.
WOW, A BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH ONLY ONE CANDLE
09/10/12 14:42
When it was time to blow out the candle on his birthday cake, Conor hadn't a clue what were asking of him. Mom and I blew it out and made a wish for him just in case he didn't get that part, too. The neighbors stopped by and Conor's birthday turn out was better than any of mine ever were. Maybe we have the future mayor of Quincy in our midst. Heck, he's as local as it gets. Lived in Squantum since day one.
WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE TO DISCIPLINE A CHILD
12/09/12 15:12
Conor is now 11 months old and as he gets into more stuff, I started wondering if it's okay to start disciplining him. Studies seem to point to just baby proofing the home for now - covering up the electrical outlets, putting the breakable stuff out of reach, blocking 'off limits' places with baby gates and the like. It's okay to give your baby some boundaries but redirection is key and not correction at this tender age. Experts favor just enjoying and appreciating Conor's fascination with the world.
I like that idea but with a dog in the mix, there's some rules that Conor's just going to have to learn. And the dog's crate being off limits is one of them. So we set out to teach Conor to leave things alone that aren't his. It's as simple as saying in a different tone of voice that gets his attention, "That's not yours," when he tries to go into the dog's bed. It's actually fun as you can see in the video. He doesn't take the rule as a correction. He sees it as fun but knows the rule is to stay away from the crate.
I learned this technique when training dogs for the handicapped years ago. We were actually told not to say, "No" to our dogs because there was too much negative baggage wrapped up in this word and it came out in the way we said it to our dogs. Instead, we told our dogs, "Don't" because it wasn't as emotionally charged. The idea is that you give your dog a command. It's not telling the dog he's done something wrong, it just tells the dog to do something you want. If he doesn't do it, then he gets corrected. I took this idea to Conor's training and when we tell him to do something or not do something, it's always fun. By being consistent, he knows we mean what we say. Now I have to remind myself that he's only 11 months old and while it works right now, it might not always work. But it's working right now and that's what matters.
WHY KIDS PLAY PEEK-A-BOO
06/09/12 15:24
Conor has enjoyed the peekaboo game since he was about 6 months old. He would pull a blanket up over his head and then drop it and laugh. Then pick it up again and do this about 5 times before he had enough. But there’s something especially cute now that he can crawl and can hide from a distance. Why do kids find this so exciting? Because they are testing a new concept as their brain matures called, ‘permanence’ which is a fancy college word for ‘things still exist even when I can’t see them.”
CONOR RAIDS THE FREEZER
04/09/12 15:30
Conor raids the freezer just before bedtime. He's never seen the inside of the freezer before. We hardly ever use the dang thing.
THESE SHOES WERE MADE FOR WALKING
04/09/12 15:27
If you keep up with my blog, then you'll notice 3 months ago to the day, I saw Conor stand up for the first time. And I wondered how long until he would actually walk. Through a little research, I discovered it would take 1000 hours of practice before he would be ready to take his first steps on his own. As I visited my dad in Texas, he asked if Conor was walking yet. I told him, 'no'. He was watching Conor standing and swore he was on the cusp of the first steps. He asked where Conor's shoes were and I laughed and said he didn't really own any shoes yet. My dad bet that if Conor had a pair of walking shoes that he could walk. So off to Wal-Mart we went. And my dad bought Conor his first pair of "walking shoes." We came home and strapped him on Conor's feet hoping to see a miracle. Conor hated those things on his feet. But when the shoes were off, they became his favorite toy because of the shoe strings.
I did the math just now and realized that Conor has logged about 810 hours of practicing so far. And if my calculations are right, Conor has 18 more days before my #1 son takes a giant step and makes history. I'll keep y'all posted.
AT 6 1/2 MONTHS OLD, CONOR AND STAND WITH A LITTLE HELP
07/05/12 16:53
At 6 1/2 months, Conor seems to be in a growth spurt now. Only 4 days ago he said, ‘Da Da’ for the first time. 2 nights ago, I was laying on the floor and he crawled over to me and put his head down next to my chest and went to sleep. Then last night, he didn’t need me to hold his arms so that he could stand up. He just leaned against me and with a lot of work, was able to hold his own balance. These are really fun times now because I can see a little person forming from an infant. I’ve enjoyed every step of the way so far. And it keeps getting better.