HOW MANY BABY CLOTHES IS TOO MANY
My wife and I have worked out a deal; I take Conor to daycare and she picks him up. This enables her to get to work early so she can leave early. That means I get to feed and dress him on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It seems every time I dress Conor for daycare, I can’t find clothes for him. I mean, I know where they’re located but there’s just nothing except clothes that are too small for him. Everything else has food or worse on them. I always say to Conor, ‘Tonight is laundry night.” Question is, “How many clothes do we need so that we’re not doing laundry all the time but we’re also not buying too much stuff?" I mean he outgrows an outfit about every two months. My wife would never let me count the clothes in her closet but she’s never said anything about our 9-month old son so I dug into his closet and counted the following;
1. 9 onesies (never heard of this word until my son was born)
2. 5 shirts
3. 5 short pants ( just bought two of those yesterday)
4. 3 long pants
5. 1 pajama (I forgot to buy 2 more yesterday. He’s outgrown the other 6 that still take up space in his closet)
7. 7 jackets (we live in New England these days)
8. 4 hats (he won’t wear any of them
9. 3 bandanas ( I forgot about them until I wrote this which means he never wears them.)
10. 5 pairs of socks he never wears because he doesn't walk yet and it's summertime
10. 1 pair of sunglasses that he also never wears
This doesn’t sound too extravagant for a 9 month old but it doesn’t sound too bare bones either. After all, a 9-month old can get into a mess pretty fast since he’s on the crawl, eats like a horse, and what goes in must come out. And that can sneak past a pamper on any given poo.
I’ll keep an eye on the intake and outtake of clothes because on one hand, we cant do laundry every evening with two working parents. But at the same time, too many clothes piling up doesn’t seem like a good answer either.
By the way, I’m way over the “Mommy’s little rocker” shirts and “I’m a rock star” baby clothes. Can we please move on to something more original. In that regard, I’ve discovered that 77Kids and Crazy 8 seem to have cool stuff this year.
Links about how much clothing we need:
http://www.keeperofthehome.org/2011/08/an-experiment-just-how-many clothes-do-kids-need-anyways.html
http://moneysavingmom.com/2010/10/my-minimalist-wardrobe-vlog.html
http://www.livingonadime.com/how-many-clothes-do-i-need/
http://www.ehow.com/baby-clothes/
- See more at: http://dadsdecoded.com/blog/index_files/archive-jul-2012.html#sthash.8lIKzwos.dpuf
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EAGLE TRIES TO SNATCH BOY IN MONTREAL PARK
This is the most amazing video I've seen recently. A mother is playing with her two kids in a park in Montreal, Canada. While the mother is looking after one of her children, a golden eagles swoops down and grabs her 15-month old child and actually picks him up and begins to fly away with him. But I guess the baby was too heavy for the eagle and he drops the baby from about 4 feet in the air and the baby tumbles back to earth. Wow! I'm keeping an extra eye on my boy now!
CONOR MEETS KAWLIGA IN AUSTIN FOR THE FIRST TIME
One of my dads's favorite songs when I was growing up was, "Kawliga" by Hank Williams, Sr. It was a song about an old wooden Indian who just stood in front of the tobacco store and never knew love. It was a song of a beautiful Indian maiden who came to the store but because Kawliga was wooden, he could do nothing about another man who came to take the Indian maiden for his own. It was a sad song that would lead a man to drinkin' like all good country songs do. As my son and I passed by the tobacco store on West 7th street in Austin, I felt compelled to take our picture. My wife didn't understand the significance but obliged us just the same.
IF A COW CAN JUMP THE MOON
By the time Conor was 3 weeks old, I was already tired of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "You are My Sunshine" and a few other songs I could barely remember from childhood. Bored by the classics, I started making up a song for him and within an hour I had written four verses and a chorus that he seemed to like. Granted he was 3 weeks old but it kept him from crying unlike "The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You," (even though that's not a children't song.) Now Conor is 5 months old and is completely captivated by the song as you can see in this picture. No matter what kind of a rotten day he's having, as soon as I hit the first few notes of the song, he stops crying and starts smiling. Here's the lyrics;
"What Can Little Boys Do When They Try" written and copyrighted by Steve Kolander
If a cow can jump the moon and pigs can learn to fly
What can little boys do when they try
Run and catch a frog, learn to ride a dog
What can little boys do when they try
Find a great big tree, carve a boat and sail the seas
What can little boys do when they try
Build a rocket made of cans, launched with rubber bands
What can little boys do when they try
Try, try, try
What can little boys do when they try, try, try
Anything can happen when you try, try, try
What can little boys do when they try
If a big, bad wolf can smile and three pigs can laugh and cry
What can little boys do when they try
Learn to ride a bike with their hands up in the sky
What can little boys do when they try
Tame a lion with a chair
Juggle monkeys, hug a bear
What can little boys do when they try
Learn to go to bed when their pillow hits their head
What can little boys do when they try
Repeat Chorus and go to bed
GOOD MORNING, SON
Conor awoke at 6am. He didn't scream. He didn't cry. He giggled. And gurgled. And played on his own. I tried to sleep with one eye open but it was no use. I had one ear on Conor. And one ear on my thoughts. Today is the first day of SxSW 2012 and I always get excited about what there is to be learned that will make me a better writer. A better marketer. A better leader. A better blogger. But right now, I decide it's better to just be dad. So I peel back the warm bed cover, walk over to Conor's travel crib, pick him up and kiss him good morning. He rewards me with the best gift a child can give his dad; he smiles at me with all the innocence that the definition offers. I'm proud to be his dad. And he's perfectly content to be my son. I revel in the glory. Knowing it will fade by the time he's a teenager.
THERE'S SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT BROTHERS
My brother and I don't see much of each other these days, maybe once a year as I live in Boston and he lives in Austin. As Conor turns 5 months old tomorrow, it was good for Michael to finally meet his only nephew. Michael was the first person i told that my wife was pregnant fourteen months ago and i still remember how a tear came to his eye. He was so excited to finally be an uncle and he was glad that I would finally get to understand the joys of being a dad that he felt as a father of four. We probably won't see each other again for 6 months to a year. And those two hours in Mondola's Restaraunt in Austin, Texas will be the only reminder of getting to see my nephews, Michael and Ethen, his his only glimpse of his nephew Conor until we meet again. It's far from ideal but as the world gets smaller, I somehow manage to drift farther from the town i once called home. Still, my brother and I always manage to find something that we still have in common and we hang onto those moments until it's time to say goodbye. This time, it was a conversation of both being dads and how good it feels.
THIS WAS BOUGHT FOR MY 4-YEAR OLD SON 15 YEARS AGO
In 1993, I went to the Borneo jungle for an adventurous vacation. I spent a week in the jungle to see the endangered Proboscis monkey and the endangered Orangutans. It was a hair-raising journey with only myself and a guide. On the final day of my trip, we went to the Sepilok Forest to visit the orangutans. These apes are super intelligent and also bold. They would come down out of the trees and steal people's cameras, hats and umbrellas. They would climb back into the trees and you could often say so-long to your valuables.
I fell in love with these apes and I thought that i would one day soon have a child that would love to play with this stuffed orangutan. It has sat in the closet for over 15 years waiting and just yesterday, I gave it to Conor. He laughed when he saw the hairy ape and began to hug it and play with it. Unfortunately, it started to shed and I got nervous he would swallow some of the hair so after a couple of minutes of playtime, I perched it on the top of the crib where it looks over him, but he can't eat it.
CONOR IS WRESTLING BULLS INSTEAD OF COUNTING SHEEP
As Conor sneaks up on 5 months old, he is finally starting to play with his stuffed animals. And one of my favorites is Bevo. This beloved Longhorn was given to him by my longtime friend, Pat Vires, whom I went to UT with many years ago. After all these years, she hasn’t forgotten me and now needs to meet Conor. We travel to Austin on Thursday so he’s been wrestling Bevo while I sing, “The Eyes of Texas”. He laughs now but just wait until I introduce him to a real Longhorn. Then we’ll see how much cowboy he has in his blood.
ONLY TIME WILL TELL
Every morning before I go to work I give Conor is very own concert. We start out with Twinkle, Twinkle plucked on the high strings. Then we move into “Desire,” I song I wrote years ago that the Dixie Chicks picked up and recorded. This is his favorite song and his arms wave and his feet kick the guitar as I play. Then we move on to “Pearl Handled Pistols” in which is grins as if he’s an old gun slinger reincarnated. And finally, I sing a song I wrote for him when he was 3 weeks old called, “What can little boys do when they try.” This puts him in a great mood for me to leave for work and hand the boy over to his mother. I wonder if he’s taking all this in to be a guitar player one day. He watches my fingers make the chords as if he’s memorizing them at 4 months old. Only time will tell.
MY SON LOOKS LIKE A TURTLE
The pediatrician says babies needs "tummy time" a few sessions a day starting at 8 weeks old so that their neck muscles develop properly. This means we put Conor on his stomach and tuck his arms up close to his body so he can use them to lift his head up. We do this but he doesn’t much like it. He lasts about three minutes then starts crying as his neck muscles lose their strength and he does a face plant into the rug. He looks at me as if it's all my fault and I try to blame it on the pediatrician but he's no longer paying attention.
Experts say a baby can lift its head up at about one month of age. It can hold it’s head up while sitting at 4 months of age. And will have complete control at about six months of age.
Every time I read a statistic about child growth, I measure my own son up to it. And as usual, he’sright on schedule. Ah, that’s my boy.
THREE DAYS ALONE WITH MY SON
My wife left for a 3-day seminar at 8am while Conor and I waved goodbye from our rocking chair. He was eating and I was holding one eye open while the other tried to catch up on the last bit of sleep that never seems to be enough. I was plenty used to waking up at 6-8am in the morning to feed him. Pretty much every morning. But on weekdays, I leave for work and hand Conor to his mom as he is wide awake after this feeding. And on the weekends, I play with him until about 11am when my wife leisurely wakes up and I hand her the child as I’m ready for a break.
But this weekend, there was no hand-off. He was all mine. For about the first two months of Conor’s existence, it was pretty easy, relatively speaking, to keep up with him. He was either sleeping, eating, pooping or burping. That was it. So I knew how to keep him happy by feeding him, rocking him, changing him or burping him. But something had happened in the last month that I hadn’t realized. After Conor wakes up at 6am, he doesn’t really sleep again until 9:30pm. If you do the math (and I had to count on my fingers), that’s 15 hours of infant entertainment that he’s counting on.
I sang to him and talked with him until I couldn’t stand the sound of my own voice anymore. Seriously, at some point as much as I wanted to tell him things and make commentary about what the dog was doing, I just didn’t want to hear myself anymore. I wrote Conor a song when he was 3 weeks old and I don’t care if I never hear that song again. If I never sing the words, “Twinkle little star," it’ll be too soon. My back was hurting from carrying him around and my head was hurting from thinking up ways to make him stop crying at times when feeding, changing and burping were no longer the instigators.
And that was just day one. After that, I realized I needed to regroup, just me, myself and I. This one-man show 15 hours a day was unsustainable. There was a new sheriff in town and things were going to be different around here. let’s mark ‘em off;
1. We initiated nap times. (I tried more but no luck.) I discovered that 11:30, approximately 5 hours after he’d been awake, he was willing to take a short 30 minute nap. And when he slept, my gosh, so did I. The second nap came around 3:30. This nap interestingly enough, lasted a glorious hour and a half. Like the first, I took full advantage and slept too.
2. Second, I needed to discover some more patterns out to maximize our efforts for play. These included;
a. guitar playing for about 20 minutes. He loves to hear “Twinkle, Twinkle LIttle Star” plucked on the guitar high up on the neck. He never ever failed smile at this. We then follow the concert up with a song I once wrote for the Dixie Chicks called, “Desire”. this is an adult song and he acts like one when I play it. He gets serious but is intrigued, He then will wave his arms and kick his feet, totally involved. During the weekend, I wrote a song for him called, “Big Dreams” and the recurring phrase is “Smiling, we just kept smiling”. Whenever I say this word, he breaks into a huge smile and kicks and flails his arms. It’s hilarious. Then we end the concert with...you guessed it, “Twinkle, Twinkle” plucked on the guitar. I tried playing the concertina for him (an Irish accordion) but he sticks his bottom lip out. He’s right, I suck at it.
b. I put him on my wife’s pillow and I lay down next to him and I read to him Mother Goose stories. Georgie Porgy makes him laugh but I have no idea why. I can read about 4 or 5 stories and after about 5 to 10 minutes he loses interest. But hey, that’s 10 minutes of laughter, bonding and quiet.
c. Next, we move to the crib gym, a gym i had as a kid. My mom sent it to me when Conor was born and he loves that thing. They don’t have them in the stores because they’ve probably been deemed too dangerous but I’m still alive and so is he. this can maybe last 20 minutes and since he can do this on his own, it gives me a chance to go downstairs and boil the bottles that have been collecting.
d. After the gym, he needs his diaper changed. Must be all that straining. After that, its time for a feeding. And if it’s not nap time thereafter, then we’ll move to the mat for tummy time where he lays on his tummy and in order to look around must pick his head up. This strengthens his neck muscles, which are getting stronger by the day.
e. I then just pick him up and walk him around the house, looking out the window and talking to the dog. He likes climbing the stairs. Must be the bouncing action. We do this for about 15 minutes and then I put him in his lounging chair and buckle him up. This allows him to look around while I prepare lunch, take a shower, clean the kitchen, living room or bedroom.
f. Sometimes, he just had to hang out on his own in his crib while I got stuff done like bathroom breaks, telephone calls, emails, etc.
3. Thirdly, I realized I couldn’t come a calling every time he cried or else I might as well have him superglued to me. So I decided sometimes when he cried, if I knew he had been fed, changed and burped that he was in no real need. I would look into his crib to make sure he was in no danger and then i let him cry. That is not easy to do for a new dad. But I decided it was in the best interest for both of us to get this part of the partnership. (This was actually how the nap part got instigated. I realized twice when I put him in the crib and left him alone that he fell asleep. Once he did it, I knew he’d do it again. And planned according to the clock the exact same scenario the following day and it worked. That was five days ago now, and it’s still working much to the delight of my wife!)
By the time the weekend had come to a close, I felt that I had gotten to know my son better. That we had found new ways to communicate with repeatability. And that by instituting some new changes like nap times, that I had contributed to the family in a meaningful way.
Now I’m on a plane to Germany to shoot two short documentary-like films as I leave behind my wife and son for the second time. It’s difficult but it makes it easier after spending three intense days with Conor. It’s actually more difficult leaving my wife this time because I finally know what its like for her to go through this every day of every week, not just three days. For her patience, love and understanding, I am grateful.