Aug 2011
SURVIVING HURRICANE IRENE WITH THE FAMILY
This weekend, I recognized another first for me as a dad; instead of running around Boston taking pictures of Hurricane Irene and the potential devastation, I prepared my own home for the possible damage to protect my wife and unborn child. I left the daring adventures for the dare devils.
We live right on the ocean so when the winds bear down, there is nothing to slow them down. I’m the house that slows the wind down as it enters Massachusetts. So I started by moving all the furniture from the front of the house into the backside of the house in case the windows blew out from the 80mph winds that were expected.
Then my wife and I lined the window sills and wooden floors with towels to absorb the rain that may find its way in. I went to the store and stored up three days worth of food and ice in case the electricity went out; which it just did one hour ago. I bought an extra ice chest to store the food (and beer.)
I removed all the musical instruments from the window areas and safely stored them in the upstairs bathroom. I charged all the phones, ipads, computers and weather radio.
Val and I decided to sleep downstairs in the back bedroom with smaller windows for extra safety. I took my Navajo flute and played to Valerie and our unborn child until both fell fast asleep last night. I woke up about every two hours to check the house and weather and to make sure that everyone was safe.
This morning I woke up with the sun at 6am and saw that the seas were rough and the boats outside the window were being tossed on the ocean like Tommy the Tugboat about a drunken night out with the boys. But they held on to their moorings for dear life.
After making the family a breakfast of pancakes, I grabbed my camera and went out to survey the damage to the neighborhood. Two 150-year old trees decided to call it quits as they fell to their knees across Crabtree Road and yanked down the powerlines with it. Other powerlines had blown over in the massive winds and were dangling like puppets as the other powerlines prevented them from falling to their death on the causeway into Wallaston Beach.
After seeing the damage, I decided I’d better get back to the house in case more trees stranded me from returning, leaving my pregnant wife alone in the house. As we only have 4 weeks left until the baby’s born, I didn’t want to chance that she might go into early labor while I’m out taking photos and assessing the damage.
I decided to drive by Orchard Beach to make sure our dinghy had held tight to its mooring and was pleased to see “Diddly I” bouncing furiously on its mooring. Kind of reminded me of our little Bean tossing inside of my wife these days. That little guy is ready to come out. And in no time, he’ll be in this world.
Hurricane Irene has been downgraded to a tropical storm now and while the wind is still blowing, it appears we dodged a bullet here. And I can return all the furniture to its places, the musical instruments can leave the bathtub, and our family can go back to its usual activities. However unusual they may be these days as we prepare for the coming of Bean, our first son.
Comments
OUR CHILD'S FUTURE: FROM FINANCES TO STEM CELLS
22/08/11 18:26
It used to be that when planning for a new child, you needed to start saving for college. Nowadays, it starts with saving for daycare and stem cells. College is way down the road.
We went to a financial seminar the other day to talk about how to prepare for our kids financial future. We discussed the pros and cons of working vs stay-at-home and discovered the average cost of daycare in Massachusetts is $16,000 a year. For each child.
We talked about the tax advantages of putting a percentage of our salary into a 529 College Savings Plan so that the money isn't taxed.
We also learned about the value of having a trust fund for the kids. It was explained that having a will is often not good enough. A will can get caught up in the courts and money that is supposed to go to the child may not be awarded for years. I would highly suggest that all parents look into the idea of setting up a trust fund for your kids. Once thought to only be for rich kids, this is not the case at all. Trust funds were really designed for middle income families.
But what really sent me reeling the other day was when my wife came home and asked me if we wanted to spend the money necessary to save our child's umbilical cord so that stem cells could be collected in case that our unborn son one day needed a blood transplant for cancer treatment or the like. Has science come this far? I said 'yes, we'll do it," without thinking twice. I don't know how necessary this procedure is but how can a father say 'no' to the futuristic thought that his child could be in a life or death situation but because the dad was saving for a big screen tv he passed on the opportunity to be a hero to his child in need. We also decided to save the tissue with the foresight that one day it may be possible to regenerate a damaged liver or other organ. Because my wife is a scientist, we have many friends in this field and have been told that science is moving us closer to this reality at the speed of light. Another gift to our child that was not even possible until earlier this year.
I have always been concerned about saving enough to retire and as our baby gets closer to being born, I realize retirement isn't even the issue. The question is, "How can we afford to raise our child through college.
And then I stop thinking about it because it hurts my head. With the economy in a constant state of flux, we can't control the future. We live our lives as best we can and hope that things work out. And we pray that our son lives a long healthy happy life and is at peace with himself and others as he travels an adventurous life here on Earth.
We went to a financial seminar the other day to talk about how to prepare for our kids financial future. We discussed the pros and cons of working vs stay-at-home and discovered the average cost of daycare in Massachusetts is $16,000 a year. For each child.
We talked about the tax advantages of putting a percentage of our salary into a 529 College Savings Plan so that the money isn't taxed.
We also learned about the value of having a trust fund for the kids. It was explained that having a will is often not good enough. A will can get caught up in the courts and money that is supposed to go to the child may not be awarded for years. I would highly suggest that all parents look into the idea of setting up a trust fund for your kids. Once thought to only be for rich kids, this is not the case at all. Trust funds were really designed for middle income families.
But what really sent me reeling the other day was when my wife came home and asked me if we wanted to spend the money necessary to save our child's umbilical cord so that stem cells could be collected in case that our unborn son one day needed a blood transplant for cancer treatment or the like. Has science come this far? I said 'yes, we'll do it," without thinking twice. I don't know how necessary this procedure is but how can a father say 'no' to the futuristic thought that his child could be in a life or death situation but because the dad was saving for a big screen tv he passed on the opportunity to be a hero to his child in need. We also decided to save the tissue with the foresight that one day it may be possible to regenerate a damaged liver or other organ. Because my wife is a scientist, we have many friends in this field and have been told that science is moving us closer to this reality at the speed of light. Another gift to our child that was not even possible until earlier this year.
I have always been concerned about saving enough to retire and as our baby gets closer to being born, I realize retirement isn't even the issue. The question is, "How can we afford to raise our child through college.
And then I stop thinking about it because it hurts my head. With the economy in a constant state of flux, we can't control the future. We live our lives as best we can and hope that things work out. And we pray that our son lives a long healthy happy life and is at peace with himself and others as he travels an adventurous life here on Earth.
AFTER TWO BIRTHING CLASSES, I'M HAVING CONTRACTIONS MYSELF
09/08/11 18:27
I'm two sessions into the birthing class seminar series and already I know more about stretching vaginas, tender nipples and contracting uteruses than I ever cared to know about.
I guess somewhere along the way I managed to grow up because I realized the other day I didn't snicker when the instructor said the word, “vagina”. That used to be a funny word to me. I didn't turn red from embarrassment when she talked about tender nipples, either. That was a taboo topic to speak of in mixed company once upon a time. I have to admit I was a little saddened that I realized my innocence had been further etched out. I like being a kid even as a grown up but when you can no longer snicker about stretching vaginas, what's the point of living?
I actually raised my hand in class to further inquire about a contracting uterus. Perhaps I've lost my mind but I was intrigued. The teacher said that if we husbands have our arms around our spouses when she has a contraction that we can feel it, too. I needed some clarification on this. I avoided using the word "uterus" but instead opted for the more standard word, "contractions". (I can hear the word without giggling but wasn’t sure if i could say it and remain composed.) The instructor pointed out that during a contraction, the uterus just doesn't contract but first rises up like a wave does in the ocean. Then the wave subsides and the contraction begins. With all that going on, husbands can definitely feel it.
My stomach began to create its own waves at the thought of this. Every day that I dig further, decoding the meaning of being a dad, the more I marvel at how mothers give birth and the strength and fortitude it takes to have a child. And the more we Dads need to be sympathetic to their needs.
In closing, I found this National Geographic footage of cameras actually inside the mother’s womb. Seeing the baby as a bump on the outside is one thing. Seeing the baby that makes the bump from the inside is just a whole other ‘wow!’
I'M TURNING INTO A DAD. RIGHT DOWN TO MY CELLULAR STRUCTURE!
07/08/11 18:28
It’s obvious how a mother and child are inextricably linked. From pregnancy to birth, to breastfeeding, mothers and their newborns have a miraculous link that can tie them together for a lifetime. What is less obvious is how a Dad and his child are linked. It appears that a dad could walk away after conception and the baby is no less complete than if he would have stayed. Or is this true?
Neuroscientists are now revealing one critical part of this puzzle - the biological mechanisms that connect a father and his child.
It was once thought that only a mother could recognize the unique sound of her baby’s cry. But using an MRI, a new study shows that certain areas of the brain become activated in Dads so that they too, can hear this signature pattern that other adults without children could not distinguish. Because this sound is critical to a baby’s comfort and survival, it should come as no surprise that Dads would need this brain function.
Much to the surprise of our wives, a Dad’s brain is not static. Neurons constantly rewire themselves to new experiences. And additional neurons can also materialize. Scientists have connected extra braincell growth with learning new things. That’s right Dads, our brains can actually grow.
In 2010, a study showed that mouse Dads who stayed in the nest gained new neurons so they could remember their pups’ smell. It then was imprinted to their long term memory. When a Dad was removed from the nest in the first days after the pups were born, there was no change in his brain. No new neurons were created. (Don’t you just love being compared to a mouse?)
In another experiment, mouse Dads had a screen between themselves and their pups. They could smell them but not touch them. In this case, no new brain activity occurred. But when the screen was removed and they could touch their own pups, it was the hands-on experience that brought about the extra dose of brain cells. Physical contact is the key.
The ability to form these new brain cells is the responsibility of a hormone called prolactin - the exact same hormone responsible for milk production in new mothers. (Don’t worry dudes, this isn’t an article about men breastfeeding.) Another similarity between mothers and fathers and their newborns is that just like moms, Dads with higher levels of oxytocin exhibit stronger paternal instincts in the first months of their child’s life.
Prolactin and oxytocin are very much tied to social interaction so it may not be surprising that they’re involved in a father-child bond, but these new studies show that hormones relating to sex and stress are also being linked to paternal behaviors.
I think it’s really cool that science is finally catching up with what us Dads have been saying all along; we are deeply connected and commited to our kids in ways that no one has ever given us credit.
Based on article from “How Dads Develop” by Brian Mossop Scientific American Mind July/August 2011
Neuroscientists are now revealing one critical part of this puzzle - the biological mechanisms that connect a father and his child.
It was once thought that only a mother could recognize the unique sound of her baby’s cry. But using an MRI, a new study shows that certain areas of the brain become activated in Dads so that they too, can hear this signature pattern that other adults without children could not distinguish. Because this sound is critical to a baby’s comfort and survival, it should come as no surprise that Dads would need this brain function.
Much to the surprise of our wives, a Dad’s brain is not static. Neurons constantly rewire themselves to new experiences. And additional neurons can also materialize. Scientists have connected extra braincell growth with learning new things. That’s right Dads, our brains can actually grow.
In 2010, a study showed that mouse Dads who stayed in the nest gained new neurons so they could remember their pups’ smell. It then was imprinted to their long term memory. When a Dad was removed from the nest in the first days after the pups were born, there was no change in his brain. No new neurons were created. (Don’t you just love being compared to a mouse?)
In another experiment, mouse Dads had a screen between themselves and their pups. They could smell them but not touch them. In this case, no new brain activity occurred. But when the screen was removed and they could touch their own pups, it was the hands-on experience that brought about the extra dose of brain cells. Physical contact is the key.
The ability to form these new brain cells is the responsibility of a hormone called prolactin - the exact same hormone responsible for milk production in new mothers. (Don’t worry dudes, this isn’t an article about men breastfeeding.) Another similarity between mothers and fathers and their newborns is that just like moms, Dads with higher levels of oxytocin exhibit stronger paternal instincts in the first months of their child’s life.
Prolactin and oxytocin are very much tied to social interaction so it may not be surprising that they’re involved in a father-child bond, but these new studies show that hormones relating to sex and stress are also being linked to paternal behaviors.
I think it’s really cool that science is finally catching up with what us Dads have been saying all along; we are deeply connected and commited to our kids in ways that no one has ever given us credit.
Based on article from “How Dads Develop” by Brian Mossop Scientific American Mind July/August 2011