discipline
NO BREAKFAST THIS MORNING
29/03/16 22:26
“If you’re not going to eat your cereal, let’s go upstairs and get changed,” I said. Conor didn’t like that. “I am going to eat it. Just not right now.”
“You slept late. There’s no time for later,” I replied sternly. The line in the sand had been drawn. The duel was on. This is where we cue the suspense music.
Conor called my bluff. I turned and walked upstairs to get dressed. He hates being alone. And he left the table to join me. At a distance.
I closed the gap between us and extricated his pajama top. And replaced it with thermals. It’s still cold outside. Even colder than his demeaner towards me right now.
The omnivore was ready to return to the feeding trough after he got dressed so we headed back to the kitchen. He wanted to sit on my lap.
“No time for that now. It’s time to make lunch.” The Mexican stand-off resumed. Conor whimpered, “I’m not eating unless I can sit on your lap.”
“You’d better eat now because when this hotdog is safe in its bun, we’re off to school. Breakfast or no breakfast.”
“Mom gives me 6 chances,” he dared to say. I volleyed, “I’m giving you two. And one chance you already passed up. Time to decide.”
He paused too long. I wrapped him in his coat like a burrito and guided him out the door. “Wait, I haven’t eaten yet,” he pleaded.
He cried louder than John Lennon was singing “Hey Jude” on the radio as we rolled down the street. I guess it’s just one of those teaching moments.
I dropped him off and came back home. All that teaching has made me hungry. Time to eat his breakfast.
Comments
WHEN IS IT APPROPRIATE TO DISCIPLINE A CHILD
12/09/12 15:12
Conor is now 11 months old and as he gets into more stuff, I started wondering if it's okay to start disciplining him. Studies seem to point to just baby proofing the home for now - covering up the electrical outlets, putting the breakable stuff out of reach, blocking 'off limits' places with baby gates and the like. It's okay to give your baby some boundaries but redirection is key and not correction at this tender age. Experts favor just enjoying and appreciating Conor's fascination with the world.
I like that idea but with a dog in the mix, there's some rules that Conor's just going to have to learn. And the dog's crate being off limits is one of them. So we set out to teach Conor to leave things alone that aren't his. It's as simple as saying in a different tone of voice that gets his attention, "That's not yours," when he tries to go into the dog's bed. It's actually fun as you can see in the video. He doesn't take the rule as a correction. He sees it as fun but knows the rule is to stay away from the crate.
I learned this technique when training dogs for the handicapped years ago. We were actually told not to say, "No" to our dogs because there was too much negative baggage wrapped up in this word and it came out in the way we said it to our dogs. Instead, we told our dogs, "Don't" because it wasn't as emotionally charged. The idea is that you give your dog a command. It's not telling the dog he's done something wrong, it just tells the dog to do something you want. If he doesn't do it, then he gets corrected. I took this idea to Conor's training and when we tell him to do something or not do something, it's always fun. By being consistent, he knows we mean what we say. Now I have to remind myself that he's only 11 months old and while it works right now, it might not always work. But it's working right now and that's what matters.